Christmas version of 1 Corinthians 13

 
Time flies so fast. I didn't notice that the year is now about to end yet I haven't posted almost the whole month of December. It really shows how busy I am. It's good I'm not into paid blogging, otherwise my sponsors would have cut me from any sponsorship. Well, it's Christmas season and I don't wonder if many of us are busy right now preparing for gifts, gatherings for family and friends and all sorts of celebration. But I feel pity to the victims of the flashflood in the Philippines (read news with video). Here, I want to repost this inspiring thoughts about the real meaning of Christmas from my very good former student and facebook friend, Sharon.

I Corinthians 13 - Christmas version

by Sharon Rose Hernaez Flores on Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 7:50pm

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I’m just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

 Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

...and this Christmas, we can share some love to the thousands of families misplaced and grieving in Iligan and Cagayan de Oro, Philippines. Through LBC (shipping is free in all branches) and the RED CROSS, we can send some used clothes, used blankets or canned goods (of course, we can always send new ones :-). For cash donations, http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate .
YOUR PRAYERS ARE ALSO HIGHLY-REQUESTED! Thanks. God bless the Philippines! 

Unplanned but never unwanted

It's open topic today at Marriage Monday so let me repost my previous article which I haven't shared to MM yet.

I and hubby got an unplanned child but we always tell everyone, "unplanned but never unwanted!".  When I learned that I was having that late pregnancy, I was not ready to accept the reality because I had closed my mind to have only 2 kids. I was then happy and contented having both genders, 2 adorable kids who could always make my day even at the toughest time at work or the most pressing challenges in life so never did it cross my mind to have another one as I was already 40 then. But reprocessing my mindset was not really hard for me especially that I never go for the idea of abortion. My 2 kids who were then 10 and 9 even cried when they learned of my unexpected pregnancy so we explained to them that if we consider abortion, what if it's not successful? We asked them, "would you like to have a sibling who has deformity or handicap?" And they got our message clear. Now, our unplanned baby has grown into a wonderful toddler. He is our glue, our music box and above all, our health-booster and anti-aging secret.

Our unplanned baby is  our glue because he sticks us together. Everyone wants to go home early excited to play and bond with him. Instead of going somewhere else or hanging around, everyone in the household hurries to go home all because of him so we all bond together as a family.

Our unplanned but loved baby  is our music box because strangely, among our 3 kids even if the other 2 are highly inclined in music, our unplanned baby started to sing with the right tune and with a very good expression at an early age. He could sing "Twinkle, twinkle little star" perfectly even before he turned one. There are times that he starts singing the moment he wakes up and he fills our home with music. Just listening to him drives the stresses in life away.

Most of all, this unplanned baby has turned out to be our health-booster and our anti-aging formula. Hubby and I have to stay young, fit and strong as we always think of our late baby. There are even times when I get some minor illness and I think right away of my little boy. I must really get well as I have the fear in mind that if my illness gets worse or if I die, what about my baby? This kind of fear has made me take care of my health all the more. I think that my 2 older kids can already survive without me and will understand the situation, but not my toddler yet.  And he's too young and innocent to be left behind. We have to be strong to play with him and to sustain his needs until he is grown-up. So, he's not only our health-booster but also our main anti-aging  factor. Yes, he truly keeps us young and healthy!

So we thank God for our unplanned baby who turned out to be a great blessing to us all. He is never unwanted; in fact, our late bundle of joy is dearly loved by us all.

More interesting Marriage Monday posts over at Chrysalis.

Learning from Monster-in-Law

To ease the growing tension while waiting for the flood to come to our area when a 3-day holiday was declared in Bangkok last week, I and my SIL (sister-in-law) did enjoy movie marathons including Monster-in-Law, a comedy. Mother-in-law-to-be, Viola (played by Jane Fonda) turns the life of Charlotte or Charlie (Jennifer Lopez) into a nightmare. I appreciate how Charlie did her best to still try to be submissive at times to her fiance's mother despite all her cunning schemes to drive her away from her only son, a famous surgeon. Viola, whose TV talk show has just been canceled, thinks that her only possession left is her only child, Kevin, so she does everything to catch his attention and solely possess him. But in the end, both women come into terms giving the movie a happy ending. The title character, Monster-in-Law, Viola, has a big heart after all and is just carried away by the uncontrollable circumstances of her life. Charlie also tries to understand how her MIL got affected by the loss of her job and she's forgiving enough so settling their differences seems easy. This is very encouraging for women who are struggling with their mother-in-law (MIL), that's why I thought of sharing it here in Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis, where thinking Christian women meet every first and third Monday of the month.

Personally, I'm thankful to God that I didn't have big issues with my late mother-in-law including the family of my husband as they are nice and unique from each other. Although at the first month of our marriage we had some minor issues having lived with my husband's family, we resolved such issues by deciding to leave their family compound and live on our own. Probably, if we continued to live with my husband's family, it would have taken longer to settle our own individual differences as husband and wife. Well, it's prevalent in Asian culture to stay with the extended family but I have seen a lot of troubled (some broken) marriages due to interference of in-laws, especially MIL. That's why the Biblical principle really makes a lot of sense:

For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh... (Genesis 2:24-25)

A close friend of mine lost her marriage due to interference of both side's in-laws. They never got the chance to strengthen their union and settle their individual differences on their own because they stayed with her husband's family and they saw just her negatives. If the couple got a fight, the husband's family would side him and he would  listen to them instead of protecting his wife until such time that my friend's mother took courage to confront the husband's family. And the situation got worst until they separated with their innocent child getting affected with both side's conflicts until now. I asked her recently if the situation would have been different had they lived on their own. She said it could be but it's too late now. She told me that her husband's mind had been polluted a lot by her in-laws drawing a very bad image of her that they thought such marriage would be unfair to their son they love so much (or his big income they also need?). Had they lived on the Biblical principle of leaving their own families early on to establish their own marital relationship, they would have not been torn apart. Although there are a lot of marriages that have been broken even if they live on their own, in many Asian cultures, staying with the extended family or allowing in-law interference has been recorded as one major factor.

While it is our culture to take care of our old folks in which we are bound to keep, it is advisable that  at the early stage of marriage, couples should stay away from them to allow the building of a strong marital bond. It is also reasonable as the parents are still strong to take care of and support themselves so that when the couple is already well established, usually when their own kids are already grown-ups, it is the best time to take in the grannies to stay with them. At this stage, they are too old to criticize and the marital bond of the couple is already strong enough to get affected.

As to the ending of the Monster-in-Law, it's only when Viola, the mom-in-law, left the new couple alone that her beloved son found true happiness with his union with Charlie. But if the couple chose to stay with such a situation and Viola persisted to pester them, they could never have peace and happiness. Since it's not easy to control our parents, taking a big step to stay away from them upon marriage to work things out as a husband and wife is a great way towards the establishment of a blissful marriage. Unselfish parents should be happy to see their children with a happy family, but because there is this tendency for the parents especially the mother for attention rivalry for a son she dearly loves against the daughter-in-law (DIL), then DILs should be more understanding.

Happy Marriage Monday everyone!

Reflections on the Flood

 So much damages, tensions and anxieties have been brought by the flood here in Thailand. It made a lot of people in Bangkok including us to hoard food supplies as there have been rumors that Bangkok, even if flood-walled, will still be inundated with waters coming from the provinces especially during the high tides. But thank God it has not happened, at least in our area, as some districts such as my friend's where these photos here were taken are already affected. My Thai friend told me that this has never happened here in 50 years. This calamity gave me an opportunity to discuss with her about prophecy and salvation.

 I told her that I don't wonder if such things are happening. Climate change and global warming are some signs that the end is coming near as prophesied in the Bible that there will be disasters one after another. We have seen that calamities such as tsunami, earthquakes and floods cannot be controlled even by the most sophisticated technology on earth. But I told her that with Jesus Christ in our life, we will be assured of salvation. I pointed out to her that we can never run away with our wealth just like these cars parked on the highway left by the owners who have fled anywhere to save themselves, which she readily agreed. How much more when God will judge the world and burn in hell all the sinners  who never repented and accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord?

 

This disaster that has plagued Thailand is just a reminder that this world is but our temporary home and we need a Living God that can save us from the wrath of sin and will someday take us to heaven where there will never be calamities, pains and sorrows anymore. Let me share this inspiring song to you:

Three Famous Adopted Men Molded by Great Adoptive Parents

Today's topic at Marriage Monday, where thinking Christian women meet every other Monday, is on infertility. A couple who is not blessed with a child, after they have tried all scientific and medical means but still fail, may just choose to enjoy each other's company for life or opt to adopt a child. If I were not blessed with kids, I'd choose the latter. I'd like to simply argue here that adopted children,  if brought up well, can become great individuals and, therefore, be beneficial to the society and to their adoptive parents. Let's take the examples of three adopted children (although there are a lot more) who rose into fame with their humble background. Thanks to this meme that made me know their roots due to the topic of infertility.

Let me start with the one who just passed away, Apple founder and CEO, Steve Jobs. While my next 2 examples were adopted when they were 9, Steve Jobs was turned over to his adoptive parents shortly after his birth. As the 1950's saw the conservative puritan American culture, Jobs's biological parents were not allowed to wed as his father who was a political science professor was a Syrian Muslim. At that time, a child outside wedlock was scorned by society so his American mother who became a speech pathologist after her graduate studies with Steve's father was forced to give him for adoption to an accountant and a machinist, Paul Jobs. Their home garage, where his adoptive dad, Paul, exposed him to tinker machines, which accordingly developed young Steve into becoming the man behind what many enjoy now - iPod, iPhone, iPad, MacBook, etc.

Another adopted child who turned into a great leader is Nelson Mandela. Although he grew up with his real mom and dad, who died when he was 9, his step-dad's leadership influence in the community significantly molded Mandela to become a famous charismatic leader himself.

Although there are many other adopted people who rose above their childhood background, the last but not the least in this post is Barrack Obama. With an Irish-English mother and a Kenyan father, who later died due to a disease,  Obama, like Mandela, was adopted by his stepfather, who was an Indonesian. Obama's step-dad was also a leader so no wonder why he was brought up to become a leader, too.

The common denominators of all these three iconic leaders are, of course, their genes and environment. Even if they got their important traits from their biological parents, they picked up their values largely by the way they were raised by their adoptive parents especially in the case of Steve Jobs. While environment plays a vital role in the child's growth and development, if you want to have a great chance of having a potentially smart adoptive child, do a background check on the family history of your prospective child to adopt. But if you want to adopt a child without specifications, you are showing a truly unconditional parental and  God's love. Many couples have done it and are happy with their adopted child. My dear friend did it and now her 2-year old adopted baby has grown to be a lovable and smart boy and he serves as a real bundle of joy to her and her husband.

Click the button below to visit more interesting posts by intelligent God-loving women.

Resolution: Household Cost-Cutting and Maximum Saving

With the kids growing fast, which means growing needs, too, we have to be more proactive by planning ahead well. We don't have to wait for the new year to make resolutions. Now, that our kids have already planned what to take up in college, hubby and I have become more pressured for the projected educational costs. So, we have agreed to save more by living below -NOT BEYOND- our means to help us make our kids realize their educational goals and for us to retire smoothly. We still have to enjoy life to the fullest but must keep our goals in mind so we agreed on the following, which may also be helpful to you, dear readers:

1. Cut down the budget on food by avoiding high calorie and cholesterol-loaded choices. It's the best way for a healthy diet as high calorie and cholesterol foods are usually the more expensive (and fattening) ones such as meats, baked, processed and preserved foods. So hubby and I have agreed to subsist mainly on fish and plant-based foods such as legumes, fruits, vegetables and other natural (unprocessed) foods which abound and are cheap here in the "Land of Smiles" and even in our hometown, GenSan. In this way, we can live more healthily so we also cut down medical and hospitalization budgets in the long run. 

2. Don't live by credits. The economic crunch in the US presented us the fact that millions of households get by on credit cards causing them to abruptly shift gears at the bad turn of events. With this scenario, I have promised hubby not to use credit cards again except in real emergencies. Travels which needed to be booked online using a credit card have caused my accumulated credit spending, which has accumulated interests as well. I hate to think of the big interests I've been paying for credit cards even if there are lots of perks and rewards for using them. Oh, we should not be deceived by the rewards as they just entice us to use credit cards more and lure us to forget the compounded interests and our capacity to pay on time! So, if there's no cash to pay your credit card right away, don't travel or purchase anything (unless for emergency) using credit cards. We should save first and enjoy later if we have extra money for any luxury or leisure. 

3. Buy only the necessities.  Hubby assessed our buying lately and we identified stuffs which were not necessary for us to buy. If I open our closets, I find some clothes I bought by impulse which I have not used after all. We also bought some gadgets which are not really of dire necessities. If we sum up the money we used for buying those non-necessities, sometimes using credit cards with interests, they could have been added to our savings.

4. Go for items on sale but of good quality. I've been doing this for a long time but let me include this here for you, dear readers, in case you're not practicing it yet. I've cut costs a lot by looking for our needs on sale. We are lucky to have a Lotus Express right in front of our condo so I'm always on guard for sale items including fresh fruits, vegetables, rice and even toiletries and other household needs. When I buy hubby's or my kids' clothes, I also go for quality but on sale items. Again, be cautious not to buy things because they're cheap or on sale but you don't actually need them or they are close to expiry as they may end up getting spoiled if you don't consume them right away. Or because the food is near expiry, you need to consume it all, so it's not saving after all. In shore, don't buy by impulse. It pays to be practical when buying things.

5. Let every household member aware of the family goals and orient everyone to save. If we want to save more effectively and in a bigger scale, let's orient everyone in the household to set a goal and to practice saving. In our case, we always remind our kids of our big project so they focus their minds on it. We ask them to be frugal and careful in everything even with their school supplies, clothing, etc. We emphasize to them that whatever necessary things they waste needs to be replaced, which requires an amount. Even hubby had to totally cut his spending on his coffee, which is not necessary for him to survive. In fact, it's not good for his health. Every cent counts and it becomes big in the long run.

Whatever we do NOW determines our future so let's be effective planners, wise spenders and be good stewards of what we have. Cut down the expenses on unnecessary things and be economical and practical in buying ONLY the necessities. Most of all, to live a stress-free life, let's not live beyond our means and save, save, save. 

(This article will be printed in the Health & Home magazine in the Philippines.)