Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Marriage Monday: Overcoming Boredom and Apathy

This is another challenging topic at Marriage Monday but because I missed a couple of topics already, I can no longer skip this one. So I must face it and be able to come up with something worth sharing here with my marriage of 15 years. I think even the marriages experience boredom and indifference sometimes.  Our first goal in marriage should be to keep the marriage exciting like the first moments we knew each other. But if boredom sets in, what should we do?

Having fun together as a couple will keep the romance and the union exciting. Although sometimes hubby doesn't want to go out, we can just have fun together at home like having movie marathon while enjoying our favorite food or just having tea together while chatting. Going places at least once a year also rekindles our happy moments together just like when we were sweethearts yet. Building memories together can seal your love for each other and it will help prevent boredom. But there are really times that one gets bored in marriage. In times like this, what should we do to set it off and to keep the fire burning?

First, identify what's causing your boredom with your husband. It might be something that you cannot change in his behavior or character. Of course, it's not easy to change a person and it's always easier to change our own perspective. So when this happens, it's better to shift our focus on his strengths, not on his weaknesses.

One effective way for me to bring back the warmth and excitement into our marriage is giving myself a break. For instance, I go out with friends for a dinner, shopping or just hanging out with them talking. I even go for a night out with special friends sometimes. Once I  feel relieved and recharged, I go back home more loving and caring. We, women, sometimes need a vent out or a release of overwhelming stresses and undefined emotions. Unloading ourselves to some trusted friends can ease us and make us back to our self again or be a better wife with the insights gained from sensible friends.

One ultimate and best way of overcoming boredom and apathy in marriage is through reflection and prayer. If I feel like I'm sick and tired about hubby, I pause a while and reflect then say a prayer asking God to let me see the beauty of His gift of marriage, to let me overcome my feeling of boredom. I also ask God to remind me how good it felt to be just around him during the first days, months and years of being sweethearts and at the onset of our marriage and to let Him bring back that kind of feeling. Also, getting down on our knees together as husband and wife makes both of us recognize our vulnerability in our marriage that only God can keep us together, forever despite our differences and weaknesses. 

Have a wonderful Marriage Monday, everyone! (Better late than never:) 


Denise said...

Really good post.

Susannah said...

Loved this post, NiceA ... your suggestion about going out with girlfriends is fantastic. (Gives our DH a break too, LOL)

This also spoke to me: "'s not easy to change a person and it's always easier to change our own perspective. So when this happens, it's better to shift our focus on his strengths, not on his weaknesses."

And of course prayer is always helpful!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday, today.

Blessings, e-MOm

Constance said...

You know the Lord just reminded me (while reading your post) that we are called during Communion, to "do this in remembrance of me". I think you have hit the key, remembrance! During Communion, we reflect and examine our hearts in regards to our relationship with Christ. We remember His sacrifice and His unfailing love for us.

Not that our spouses can be compared to Christ, but we are co-heirs in Christ. He is our example. If reflection, meditation and remembrance are called for in our relationship with Christ then it makes sense that we apply that to our most important earthly relationship!

Thanks for sharing with us today!

nice A said...

@Denise, thanks for stopping by.

@e-Mom, you're always an inspiration and encouragement. Thanks for always being a great host to Marriage Monday.

@Constance, yes, reflection, meditation and remembrance are indeed helpful to make us grow in our relationships.

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