Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Marriage Monday: Why Wives Need Loving Conversation First

This month's topic on Marriage Monday, a once a month meme, is so tough - about intimacy and communication - that I'm rather late with my post.
For many Asian couples, communicating to each other about s*x is somewhat a very delicate thing to handle. I believe it has something to do with the conservativeness in Asian's culture. Seeing many marriages have been broken because of dissatisfaction of this precious gift for married people, let me share some insights how we can make our marriage a blissful one by satisfying each other's needs through intimacy and communication. 

"Women need a reason to have s*x. Men just need a place," says Billy Crystal, an American actor, writer, comedian, producer and film director. This is quite true so women need to have loving conversation first to make them responsive especially when they are very tired from work and with lots of household chores and concerns. When I say conversation, it includes body language. Remember, nonverbal or body language can also work well in marriage. Hugging, cuddling, tickling, eye-winking, whispering in the ear even without saying meaningful words sometimes can make women happy and satisfied without necessary leading into s*x. But, of course, if the husband would like to lead her wife to bed to become more responsive, he should know how to set her mood. Calling the wife over the phone and giving her some clue such as sweet words or jokes will stimulate her mind. Or whisper something into her ear while she's washing the dishes, taking care of the baby, preparing for dinner or multitasking all these - which she can do magically yet the husband's kind words or gestures can do more magic to set her mood. Women don't easily get aroused so men should be sensitive enough not to rush when they want something if they want a win-win situation, both spouse's satisfaction. Many men never realized why their wife is unresponsive in bed not knowing that it's all because of their inability to show intimacy and to set her mood by communication - both verbally and nonverbally -  prior to the act they want itself. 

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RoseBelle said...

When it comes to the love making dance, men sometimes forget that women are overly exhausted by the demand of being a housewife and mother. Just because they want it doesn't mean that the lady will be in an instant mood for them. You are right in that communication is key to a happy and strong marriage but I know in Asian culture, talking about s*x is such a taboo and hardly ever spoken.

e-Mom said...

This is an excellent post! I appreciate your willingness to tackle this difficult topic.

All your tips are "spot on" especially this: "When I say conversation, it includes body language. Remember, nonverbal or body language can also work well in marriage. Hugging, cuddling, tickling, eye-winking, whispering in the ear..."

Husbands need to understand that their wives are just as interested in the sexual aspect of marriage as they are, but our arousal mechanism is different than theirs.

Well done, NiceA and thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday this month.


Faith said...

excellent post....gave me much to think about!

Dhemz said...

this is very interesting topic te.....yet so true....women are too emotional than men....agree ako sau...S-X is a big word to talk about and very delicate....hehehehe....natutunan ko na ngayon how to be open....kaya ala na kaming issue ni hubby about this....nyahahhaha....thanks for sharing!

happy mother's day in advance!

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