Pages

Monday, September 26, 2011

Homeschool, Public or Private?

As parents, our children's education is one of our biggest responsibilities. And it is every parent's wish to give the best education to his/her children. It has been a challenge for me and hubby to decide which school to send our children especially when we relocated here in Bangkok, where international schools are quite expensive. At first, we thought of homeschooling our kids. But with both of us working, we realized that giving the best time to our job and just the remaining time to our own kids after work would not be the best choice for our dear ones. We are not also experts in teaching them all the subjects they may need to prepare them for getting a good college education. Besides, with the nature of our 2 kids being so outgoing and hyperactive, homeschooling them would limit their opportunity to develop more social skills, leadership, and other soft skills they need to learn by mingling with other kids in school.

So hubby and I had 2 options left for discussion: private or public school. Public schools have good curriculum and programs but if the kids are not in the star or top sections, they are not really well taken care of (except for a few public schools like Science High). With 40-50 students in a class, individual needs may not be properly addressed. Although I argued that there are other opportunities public schools can offer such as the competitions kids can join to make them more skillful in different aspects such as in academics and sports contests up to the national levels, which some private schools don't usually join, hubby looked at the bigger picture by assessing what values and other considerations are more important to us as a family. So we did pray hard for guiding us in our decision and we really felt God's leading with how He prepared the way for us.

All right, so why did we choose private school education? It's not just private education but Christian education. With our kids away from us, although we're praying to be together again next year, we have to be wary of  their environment, which should be safe and wholesome putting into consideration the influences of their peers and adults around them. I'm not saying though that we are fully throwing all responsibilities, such as valuing, to the boarding school even if it's a Christian school. We, of course, are still responsible of inculcating the values and imposing discipline we want them to grow with no matter what. But in our assessment, their school is one of the best in our area that many parents even the most conservative ones I highly respect send their kids there to stay at the dorm, instead of staying with a family at the villages around or outside school apartments.

Back in their previous school,  both of them used to have their own caretaker in our family who would prepare everything for them including their food and their clothes. Now, in their present school where they stay in a dormitory for the first time, they have to manage themselves and their time very well. They have schedule for eating at the cafeteria. If they don't go to the caf on time, they won't be able to eat as it closes in an hour. So this is one good training we want in their new school to help them with their maturity. They have, of course, a very loving and caring dean for each dorm, whom we can communicate with more often. We also love the idea that they have devotional time - both in the boys' and the girls' dorm - every morning and evening for their spiritual growth. They also share a room with other dormitorians so as early as high school, they learn to get along with others through their room-mates. Actually, my 12-year old boy had a problem with this during his first 2 weeks in the dorm as he didn't know how to respect the older boys, which is important in our culture. He has learned his lesson fast, anyway, as his cousin, his senior for 3 years, happened to be his room-mate and he helped and taught him a lot to adjust. 

We have seen so many improvements in our 14-year old girl and 13-year old boy in their new school. They have learned to take their own clothes to the laundry and now they love to iron their own clothes, which they weren't allowed to do before. They have learned to be independent as they also budget their own allowances and above all, they have become more prayerful and dependent on God. My boy used to grumble with our long prayer during family worship time before but now he reported to us that they take turns in praying or leading the daily devotional in the boys' dorm and they usually have prayer bands that take longer. But he beams with excitement when he shares his new experiences at his new school. He's so happy that now he has more time to play tennis, badminton, Frisbee and basketball than in his old school. He has also joined the violin ensemble serving in the church while he is also learning piano and violin. His older sister is also assigned to play the piano to accompany the congregation at worship from time to time or be the speaker during worships or devotionals so they have balanced development, not just academics and sports.

We thank God that their first grading report showed that both of them have excelled in their classes so we give all the glory to God. Despite their being away from us, they have been doing so well. But even if they're doing well academically, we really value more their spiritual growth, the development of their character especially at their formative years which can't be put off at a later time for "what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" (Matthew 16:26).

For more interesting posts about Children, please visit Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis

16 comments:

Miriam Pauline said...

I think you are incredibly brave to recognize that the things your children need to develop can actually be cultivated better in a school that requires dormitory living. I'm not sure I could make that choice! One of the most challenging parts of ex-pat living is finding what works for the entire family. Glad you were able to find what would work for yours. Thanks for sharing your story.

Dawn said...

Hi! Stopping by from MM. I'm with Miriam (comment above) but I am praying for your family! Blessings!

nice A said...

Thanks MiPa and Dawn for your comments. It's really hard to come up with a perfect decision given our situation but we had assessed our plan very well before we finally decided to send them to their new boarding school. Besides, we have plan to be together again next year, God willing. Of course, we do recognize that we can't entrust them solely to their school especially at their age. But with constant communication, we lessen the risks, given the benefits of technology nowadays. They also have our families on both sides there looking after them.

Joyfull said...

Thanks for sharing the plan that worked for your family. It sounds as though they are learning some valuable traits to equip them in life. Blessings to you.

Cheri Gregory said...

As a teacher at a Christian boarding school, I really appreciate that you recognize and value all the incredible life lessons your children are learning because they are in a dormitory setting!

So many parents are so reluctant to send their child to a boarding school. I certainly understand the many concerns; our children attended our school while living at home.

But now that both of our children are in college, I’m seeing many maturity deficits caused by my “helicopter parent” habits, my “smother mother” ways! If we’d had them dorm, at least for the last couple of years, they’d be having much smoother transitions to the “adult world” right now!

Cheri Gregory said...

As a teacher at a Christian boarding school, I really appreciate that you recognize and value all the incredible life lessons your children are learning because they are in a dormitory setting!

So many parents are so reluctant to send their child to a boarding school. I certainly understand the many concerns; our children attended our school while living at home.

But now that both of our children are in college, I’m seeing many maturity deficits caused by my “helicopter parent” habits, my “smother mother” ways! If we’d had them dorm, at least for the last couple of years, they’d be having much smoother transitions to the “adult world” right now!

nice A said...

@Joyfull and Cheri, thank you very much for your encouragement. Yes, it is our main intention to have our kids go through the transition they need before they go to college/adult life. I know of a lot of graduates from that school who stayed in the dorm. They are very successful, including my niece, who is a vey responsible person. Actually, she and her brother, who is still in the dorm with my boy right now were the ones who mainly influenced our decision.

I'll go visit you later. God bless.

e-Mom said...

This was a terrific inside peek into your decision-making process. We ultimately opted for private Christian school for our children too (although it was not a boarding school). We made many sacrifices to make that choice a reality, but we never, ever regretted our decision.

It's wonderful to hear the satisfaction and pride of parenting in your voice. Amen, and job well done!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday, today NiceA!

nice A said...

@e-Mom, glad to know you never regretted your choice of Christian education.

Just happy that we're blessed with kids who understand our situation and are willing to do their best amidst circumstances not really their own choice.

I'm always blessed with Marriage Monday, e-Mom, so thank you very much for all the topics here. God bless you always.

Christine said...

Definitely a decision not to take lightly, and you obviously thought long and hard about it! I'm glad this is proving to be a great fit for your family. Love the way you laid out the benefits you're experiencing. May God continue to bless your family!

Julie Arduini said...

I admire families that prayerfully consider the options. We are in private (non-boarding) school too but each year we pray and make sure it's God's choice. We honor all the choices and know God has different answers for each family. I loved reading about yours!

nice A said...

@Julie, thank you very much for your encouraging comment. Sure, God has different answers for each family.

nice A said...

@Christine, yes, we thought of this major decision long and hard and prayed a lot for it. Thanks a lot for coming by. Will read your posts later.

kimmy said...

that was very nice, girl! the welfare of our children always comes first.. left you a kiss, girl, hope i get one back, thanks!

by the way, do you mind checking out on A Teacher Pays Tribute?

Julie Arduini said...

I'm late catching up on comments on my blog and I wanted to let you know I left a response on my blog regarding your heartfelt comment. I copied it for you.
***
That’s so hard, and heartbreaking. I know a principle I use with my 13 year old is that each month $20 per month (or whatever) is always on the table. Every day he has chores and an age appropriate work ethic to adhere to. Throughout the month I give him feedback on how close he is to receiving the full amount. If at the end of the month there is a deficit, he owes me the difference between what money he receives and what is left of $20. That difference he owes me comes in many forms and the most effective for me is taking away fun things. One month was not a good month for him to perform well so he owed me $12 out of $20. The options were twelve days without one gadget, 6 days without 2 gadgets or 4 days without all electronics. The books I used to learn and prayerfully consider are by Danny Silk—Loving Our Kids on Purpose and Culture of Honor. It sounds like the situation might fall under the work ethic category but again, that is for you to prayerfully consider.

I can’t tell you what is right for your situation but I hope this helps you. The best thing of all I can say is pray. God will direct you, I’m living proof.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you at the chat!
***
I appreciate you sharing your situation and I look forward to "seeing" you on the parenting chat. I'd love for you to share the word. It will be Tuesday the 18th, 9pm EST in my webinar room. connectpro19068335.adobeconnect.com/julie-arduini-the-surrendered-scribe/

nice A said...

@kimmy, thanks for coming by. will visit you later.

@julie, I appreciate your sharing of parenting style here. Yes, taking away fun things from our kids also works effectively with our discipline with them. We prayed for God's guidance in dealing with our boy and he willingly agreed to take the responsibility by paying it from the allowance we give him regularly. Thank you very much for your wisdom even with your limited time.

Post a Comment

Thank you for taking time to stop by my blog and for sharing your thoughts:)