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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

What not to expect from MEN?


After quite a long time that Marriage Monday hibernated, here it is back again with the topic on gender differences. Glad it's here again as I missed reading encouraging MM posts.

Yesterday morning,  I was surprised with what I confirmed to be gender characteristics. I woke up a little bit upset upon noticing that the clothes I hanged at our backyard were drenched by the heavy rain. I was expecting that our teenage son would get them before the rain would pour as I and hubby were out the whole day and came home late. My irritation came from my presumption that he had seen me hanging them while he and his dad were cutting the grass in our backyard. When I asked him how come he didn't get the clothes, "I didn't know you hanged some clothes outside, I thought everything is hanged here inside these rainy days," was his answer. Then, I shot back, "but you and dad saw me hanging them while you're cleaning the backyard," and turned to my husband. Surprisingly, both of them didn't notice me hanging even if the clothes I hanged outside were so colorful and large enough to capture their attention.

There's one generalization I draw from this observation. Males are generally not multi-taskers like females. It explains why both father and son did not notice what I was doing even if I was just a few inches away  from them while they were so focused with their cutting the grass using pruning shears and big scissors that can be harmful so they had to really set their mind to what they were doing. That's why, if hubby is reading a newspaper or watching TV. I don't expect that he would divide his attention for me.

This also explains why they don't remember dates especially if they are busy. They are too focused on their own business that they can't recall birthdays, anniversaries and special occasions. They are generally not particular of details as well.  So don't expect them to surprise you on your anniversary all the time. It's good to remind them ahead of time. It's not that they are not thoughtful or romantic. It's just because they are differently wired to be not futuristic like we women who care for what to cook the next day or even what to wear at the party next month. Men don't think of these.

Such experience has opened my eyes to be more understanding of males and be more specific in communicating for an expected outcome. My son reminded me to tell him what I exactly want him to do next time especially if it's something unusual. I should not assume and expect next time so I won't be disappointed. With hubby, however, after 17 years in our marriage, I have learned not to expect some surprises anymore and I'm happier accepting just what he is, a man, God created differently.

Now, I'm excited to blog hop to Marriage Monday posts. Click HERE to read them with me.

8 comments:

Denise said...

Wonderful post, bless you.

e-Mom said...

Yes, so true for me too... as women, we're always scanning our environment, taking in everything and everyone we care for. Men are focus more on specific tasks and achieving their goals. Early in our marriage, I was annoyed by that. Now I'm grateful!

A wonderful post.

Thanks for sharing your story, and linking up today NiceA.

Blessings, e-Mom @ Chrysalis

nice A said...

Thanks, denise and e-Mom. Will visit your posts shortly.

Miriam Pauline said...

Great example of our differences. Thanks for sharing.

nice A said...

@Miriam Pauline, thank you very much for stopping by. Will visit your post, too, and be blessed.

Constance said...

Great points! I used to hate it if I had to spell something out for Dave. I expected for him to see things with the same importance as me. He should be spontaneous, romantic etc like me and when he wasn't, I questioned his love for me.

Now after 26 years of marriage I see how immature and skewed that kind of thinking is! Now I know that if I want something I need to speak up! If I am looking for an end result, a destination, it doesn't matter the route you take, as long as you get there!

Marriage is hard enough without beating ourselves (or each other) up!

Blessings!
Connie

nice A said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, Connie. Let me be blessed with your post again as I used to be.

nice A said...

Just to let those who joined Marriage Monday last week how blessed I am with your posts. Thanks so much. I look forward to reading your posts again next time.

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