Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Marriage Monday: Sexuality in Christian Marriage

One of the greatest blessings in marriage is enjoying sex. But how come there are many broken marriages because of dissatisfaction in this kind of gift? In their book, Intended for Pleasure, Ed and Gay Wheat point out the reasons why many couples are not satisfied. One big reason, according to them, is the lack of communication between husband and wife. Especially in Asian culture like ours, talking about sex seems like a taboo. Openness regarding sex would be regarded vulgar. So, even if one party is not happy in bed, s/he would just keep it to her/himself until the issue becomes worse or worst.

One wife whose husband left her explained that she regretted she was too frigid in bed that her husband had to look for another partner. As it is her wifely duty to fulfill such basic need of her husband, she should have asked for counselling when she started to feel the problem. But again, counseling in our culture is not known as most of us are so reserved opening up our private issues. If only she was open to her husband regarding her frigidity in sex, they could have solved it before the marriage collapsed. The husband warned her many times but she ignored it and that was only the time she sought help yet it's too late.

There are other couples out there who are suffering from dissatisfaction in this God's gift to marriage. Just to keep the relationship even if they're not happy in this area, they stay together. But being open in communication to improve each other's performance in bed in order to satisfy each other, they should follow Ed and Gay Wheat's advice. Husband and I both read the book and we both benefit from it. After reading it when we were just married, it has become easy for us to affirm each other such as what feels good and what we can improve or try next time. So hubby and I have no inhibitions in this area of married life. We also followed their advice that there is a need to precondition the act such as giving signals earlier. For example, a phone call at lunch suggesting it or simple sweet gestures as preludes to condition the wife. Remember, women's sexual psyche is different from men's so it takes some time to set their mood for sex. Men should be sensitive about this need. Some men don't know this magic of romance they can do outside the bed. Any annoyances they might have caused during the day would affect their wife's response and performance. There is a lot to learn from this bestseller so I recommend this book especially to those  struggling about this issue and to the newly-weds so they can truly enjoy God's gift to the union of husband and wife - intended for pleasure.

Do a blog hop to enjoy more about this topic by visiting Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis where thinking Christian women meet every 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Losing Weight in JUST a Month

I could not believe I've lost about 5 kilos in just a month. But it's not without effort. First, I have given up meat particularly beef as part of my usual diet. (I'm not a fan of chicken and I never eat pork!). Meat is not easy to digest and it's fat-loaded. As I mentioned in my previous post, thanks to gingivitis I was forced not to eat meat any more except occasionally. Secondly, I included more fruits in my diet especially pineapple which is one of the foods containing lots of enzymes to get rid of fats. Thirdly, since I moved to my new workplace, I have more opportunities to walk and to use the stairs so I have regular exercise. So even if I don't have to go back jogging the way I used to do before I got pregnant 3 years ago when I was only 53 kilos, my going up and down the stairs to and from the 3rd floor is sufficient to burn my fats and calories. Finally, I eat on time and regularly now so I avoid the starving after effect which makes you want to eat more. Easy steps, aren't they?

I really want to celebrate for this remarkable achievement. And hurray, I can now wear the clothes I couldn't wear when I was 59 kilos yet! I so missed those clothes that I had to keep them to make me inspired to keep losing weight. Oh, well, I realized that losing weight without exerting effort and discipline is close to impossible except probably when you get seriously sick or if you have nothing more to eat:)